Candidate Questionnaire

A guide for helping voters choose candidates that the dominant media will approve of.

1. Are you a racist?
2. Are you a sexist?
3. Are you a homophobe?
4. Are you a xenophobe?
5. Are you an Islamophobe?
6. Are you anti-immigrant?
7. Are you anti-semitic?
8. Are you a misogynist?
9. Are you a bigot?
10. Are you white?
11. Are you diverse?
12. Are you multicultural?
13. Are you a Christian?
14. Do you own a gun?
15. Is your gun an assault weapon?
16. Have you ever shot a deer with an assault weapon?
17.  Are you religious?
18.  Are you bitter?
19.  Do you cling to your gun?
20.  Do you cling to your religion?
21.  Have you ever refused to have an abortion?
22.  Have you ever opposed another person having an abortion?
23.  Are you a holocaust denier?
24.  Are you a global warming denier?
25.  Are you rich?
26.  Do you pay your fair share of taxes?
27.  Are you homeless?
28.  Are you deplorable?
29.  Have you ever been dehydrated?
30.  Do you have Parkinson’s disease?
31.  Do you eat meat?
32.  Have you ever eaten whale meat?
33.  Have you ever eaten a spotted owl?
34.  Do you smoke tobacco?
35.  Do you smoke marijuana?
36.  Have you ever been harmed by second hand smoke?
37.  Do you have a pre-existing condition not covered by health insurance?
38.  Do you have AIDS?
39.  Have you ever had unsafe sex?

If your answer to question 10 was “yes”, please answer the following additional questions:

W-1. Are you female?
W-2. Are you transgender?
W-3. Are you gay?
W-4 Are you a white supremacist?
W-5. Have you ever owned slaves?
W-6. Have any of your ancestors ever owned slaves?
W-7. Have you ever owned a Confederate flag?
W-8. Have you ever owned any personal property that displays an image of the Confederate flag?
W-9. Have you ever owned a house that contains racial covenants in the deed?
W-10. Have you ever patronized or pandered to a black person?
W-11. Have you ever described a black person as remarkably “clean”?
W-12. Have you ever described a black person as remarkably “articulate” or as having “no Negro dialect”?
W-13. Have you ever employed an illegal alien as domestic help?
W-14. Have you ever attended a sporting event for a team named for indigenous people?

If your answer to question 13 was “yes”, please answer the following additional questions;

C-1 Are you judgmental?
C-2 Do you hate gays?
C-3 Do you believe that God likes America better than He likes other countries?

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